The Impossible Choice
by TheYellowBrickRoadToTheTARDIS
Summary: Harry thought that he had faced his worst fears. He thought that he was okay now- that nothing could be as bad as those years at Hogwarts, but he was wrong. It wasn't the only thing he was wrong about- he thought that he hated Draco Malfoy, but now he's not so sure. How quickly can hate evolve into love? To make things even more complicated; Draco's hiding a secret. A big secret.
1. Chapter 1

One

_I thought that I knew what fear was like. After years of fighting Voldemort, the darkest wizard that anyone had ever seen, I truly thought that I knew what fear was like. _

_I was wrong. _

_I know now what fear is like; it's this. Losing him is the biggest fear imaginable and it's incredibly likely that it will happen. Unless I do something to stop it, but that means making a choice. A choice that I won't be able to live with either way. Whatever I choose; I'll be making the wrong choice. I have forty-eight hours to decide. _

_I figured I may as well spend that time wisely; with a little bit of reflection. It will help. It will help me to make my choice. For now, I choose to remember. The memories will make me feel strong and right now I need my strength. _

_I guess I'd better start from the beginning then._

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>*~*~One year ago*~*~<strong>_

The Battle of Hogwarts was devastating. I cannot remember the exact death toll, but I know that it was numerous and that they died, not for me, but for the wizarding community.

_Not for me. _

That's what I reassure myself, not that it helps much. It does not help when I wake up every night in a cold sweat, the faint fragments of the nightmare replaying itself in my mind. And then their faces; Sirius, Lupin, Tonks, Dumbledore, Snape, Fred and then my parents- they all flash in my mind, not leaving me alone. It's almost like they're trying to make me suffer, I just want to be comforted and yet I'm haunted by them all. So, when the nightmares wake me up, I put on some shorts, my jacket and my running shoes and I run.

I check my clock as I shiver underneath my blanket- trying to force the nightmare away from my mind. It was a particularly horrible nightmare, but one that recurs often.

It starts when I am in a dark room- it is black and then, at the other end of the room, there is a fire. The fire is bright, it promises warmth and comfort. I walk over to the fire that now seems to illuminate the entire room. When I am about five feet away from the fire, there is a dark chuckle. I turn, wand at the ready, but there is no-one there. Heart pounding, I turn back around, and the fire has moved. It is now about twenty feet away from me. I run to the fire now, though I am not sure why I crave its light so much. _Five feet, four feet, three feet, _I can feel its warmth now. It makes me feel light and I forget the dark chuckle I heard a while ago and I just admire the orange glow of the flames. Then, the scene changes and I'm plunged into some kind of courtyard and the fire is not just a lonely little flame; it's part of a massive inferno. It's a pyre; and someone's tied to it. I can't see their face, it's all bruised and beaten, but I immediately want to rescue this person. I can't though, because my feet are frozen. I cannot move. It's then that I realise we are not alone in the courtyard, there are people everywhere. Angry, scary people who seem to _hate_ the man on the pyre. But, I have no idea why. I shake one of the men next to me.

"Aren't you going to help him?" I ask. "Who is he?" The man pushes me to the floor and my glasses shatter so that my vision is now blurred.

The person on the pyre is screaming now. Loud, anguished cries that make my skin prickle and my heart ache slightly. I seem to be the only person who feels this way as everybody begins to cheer. Their fists pump the air, but their cheers cannot and do not cancel out the terror of the stranger who is now surely burning. _Die… _ I think, _Please just die. _But, the person must be incredibly unfortunate as their torture seems to continue for what seems like forever. And then, finally, the cheers of the mob die down and they must be hearing what I hear. The stranger stops screaming, they must be dead now.

But, and this is the part that gets me everytime, they are not dead. No, they still have room for one last anguished speech that will haunt me as soon as I wake up.

"Potter." The stranger moans, _"Potter." _

There is only one person who calls me Potter.

* * *

><p>That is when I wake up, my forehead glistening with sweat and my hair a complete and utter mess. <em>I need to start taking sleeping pills<em> I think, a weary sigh escaping my lips. The clock reads 5:00 A.M and I think that this is a decent time to be running, so I get changed and put on my running shoes. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, unkempt messy black hair, round glasses, pink lips and my mother's green eyes. I should really get a haircut, no-one is going to like me looking like I do. For a world-famous wizard, I have a lot of insecurities.

I run down the streets of London, navigating myself around the city stragglers and the cars that signal the start of the morning. I am just about to turn the corner that signifies my run is nearly complete when I see him. He looks the same as he did last year, his perfectly trimmed blonde hair, long jaw, the same self-confident stance and he just seems to ooze devilish charm. I either want to hit him or smile at him. Maybe both. He leans against the wall of _Raj's Convenience Store_ and I want to tell him off for that. Raj does not like loiterers.

"Potter." He sneers, and I realise that I have been staring.

"Malfoy." I reply with a stiff nod and a small wave. I am stationary now, waiting for Draco's response.

"I didn't think I'd see you here." He says, mockery in his voice. "I always had you down as a country boy."

I shrug, "You never did know me that well."

Malfoy grins, which unnerves me somewhat. "Maybe I know you more than you think, Potter."

I go to respond, but he is already gone, disappeared into the dark shadows of London. I often wonder about Malfoy, despite my efforts not to. After all, Draco Malfoy is not someone that I like to think about. But, when I think of Malfoy, I always wonder if I got him wrong. Was he just misunderstood, like Snape was? No, I think, he was not misunderstood. I'm just overthinking it. It's weird, but for the first time since being a First Year at Hogwarts, I did not get a feeling of utter repulsion when I saw Malfoy.

I do not hate Draco Malfoy anymore.

But, I cannot find it in myself to feel as though that is a good thing.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Okay, so that was my very first chapter of my very first Drarry fic! **

**It may seem a little slow paced now, but don't worry! It's going to get way more dramatic, so be sure to stick around! **

**~TheYellowBrickRoadToTheTARDIS. **


	2. A Sad Announcement- Hiatus

*****HIATUS*****

_**This is just a little apology/notice. I am so very sorry for being such a crappy writer and not updating very often, I am just under so much pressure at the moment. I feel as though this message is necessary as I will be placing my account on an extended, but temporary hiatus. I have my exams this year (GCSE's) and I am under so much stress to do well. And I do really want to do well. So, thank you to all of you awesome people for reading this story, and I'm not abandoning it but it won't be updated until my exams are completed. ( June 2015) **_

_**I am very sorry for any inconvenicence that I have caused. **_

_**Thank you guys for being awesome and stuff. **_

_**I will be officially leaving my account tomorrow, but like I said I will return. **_

_**You guys can find me on Quotev ( TheFeelsKilledMe), where I will be publishing some Hetalia X Readers and other little things. **_

_**Again, thank you. **_

_**~TheYellowBrickRoadToTheTARDIS. **_


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